Uncluttering: One Way of Preparing for Happy Retirement

Photo: theonion.com

Much as I love my work, age 70, the magic age I promised myself I would retire is just around the corner. As I contemplate happy retirement, one mantra comes to mind, unclutter. It is amazing how many things we hang on to, how much we accumulate and how many of them have any real meaning. I decided to spend this next year weeding out the clutter and focusing on what is truly important. Now, this takes real focus, commitment and brutal determination. People like me who were born during WWII are natural born hoarders. We just can't throw anything away.

The first things that went were the contents of my refrigerators and freezers. Note the plural. We have a refrigerator in the kitchen, in the garage, two beverage refrigerators, two dorm refrigerators from the kid's college days. And they were all full of stuff, like commercial size mayonnaise from the wholesale club, big tubs of margarine and large jars of olives, just because they were cheaper, never mind that they expired the next month. I am embarrassed to confess that I kept food until they turned green and only then could they be thrown out on trash day. It was not easy, but I was determined. Today, my freezers are empty. The cooler section only holds small jars of mayo, condiments, milk and today's food. I plan to get rid of all but one refrigerator. If I travel in retirement, there is nothing in the refrigerator to spoil. Having done that, I am confident I can tackle closets, shelves and yes, the garage so if I decide to look into retirement communities, I will be unencumbered.

Of course, refrigerators and closets are just metaphors of life, my life. I look into my mind and my heart and I examine the clutter. Caught in the busyness of contemporary living, I aspired to achieve goals I thought at the time were important as many were. In younger days, developing a career, financial stability were right in there with raising good healthy children. My husband I lucked out in having great children who raised themselves and us. It is a priceless blessing. Just like having a closetful of clothes and not having anything to wear, many a time, I failed to see the forest for the trees and to savor the moment because I was too busy getting ready for the next activity. There were some relationships I failed to nurture; the phone call I had been meaning to make; the letter I wanted to write, all when I could make time.

We are a culture of doers. We measure our self worth by what we have done. We act as if tomorrow is a certainty and not just a promise. We postpone the joy of being for the clutter of activities. We have great difficulty in being present where it counts, in savoring the moment as if it was the last, and in simply being. Like most I have to learn just to be. Seventy might not come but today I'm here. I choose to retire from the clutter of everyday life. I cherish good memories. I count my blessings. I promise to rekindle friendships and relationships. Today I empty my mind and heart of clutter so I can be open to just be.

Baby Boomers Postpone Retirement

Kathleen Casey-Kirshling applied for social security retirement benefits online on October 15, 2007. This signal event marked the beginning of baby boomer retirement, Casey-Kirshling having the distinction of being the first baby boomer eligible for retirement. She was born on the first second of January 1,1946. Many baby boomers followed suit in anticipation of happy retirement. The US government estimates a total of 8 million retirees over the next 20 years or an average of 10,000/ day, the so called "silver tsunami."

Little did these retirees know that a year later, the economy would collapse, their 401K and other nest egg investments would be demolished, and plans for travel in retirement would have to be scaled down if not postponed. Indeed, many baby boomers, men and women born between 1946 and 1964, who have applied for retirement benefits are either staying in or returning to the work force. There are varied reasons for this.

• On a positive note, many older adults are healthier and more energetic. While they enjoy happy retirement, they also feel free to pursue other interests, go back to school, this time for fun, or pursue other careers.
• There are positions in industry and other employment that cannot be filled by younger workers who are either lacking in training or have not quite matured with experience. Some skilled craftsmanship such as chimney sweep, shoe repair, musical instrument making and repair do not attract enough young people that the skills are in danger of extinction. For these, older workers may have to keep filling in.
• There is of course, the loss of retirement nest egg which has forced many potential retirees continue working it can be built back up. Some with plans to move into retirement communities must opt to remain in their present homes. Some lost their homes in the mortgage crisis.

Employment for baby boomers can take on different forms. Some opt to keep working full-time for a few more years. Others choose to work part-time and leave room for recreation. Part-time can take on different forms as well. Some might choose to work a couple of full days a week or half days several days a week and still have time for recreation like golf, tennis, gardening or charitable work and, of course, the spoiling of grandchildren. Some work a few weeks or months out of the year leaving options for travel in retirement.

Whatever the reason, it is clear that more older adults are staying in the work force and that can only be a good thing for the country.

A Letter to Family and friends

It has been four weeks since my husband Felix died and were it not for your love and support, the enormity of my loss, our loss, would have been too much to bear. While I will try to thank you all personally, I am writing this so as not to dilute the sincerity of my gratitude.

I would have said Felix passed away but he didn't pass away, he died. Death is so final. I still cannot fathom how someone I slept and awakened with for 43 years was here one moment and gone the next. Of course, he had to leave in his typical style, just up and go when he felt like it. No "Sorry, honey, I have to go now. I'll wait for you on the other side." It's just a Felix thing.

For all the years I spent my waking moments away from work, looking after him, it is still disorienting that I have so much time on my hands. My house is quiet. The TV's are not on at the same time as the radios. He is not here to laugh at slapstick comedy, give opinionated comments or watch the food channel, Anthony Bourdain and Judge Judy. He is not here to meddle in all our affairs or to buy us stuff because he liked them, never mind that we didn't. Nonetheless, I sense his hand in things like how his last services went so smoothly in a Felix kind of way, how effortless his estate is getting settled or how somehow I feel protected. Closing out his credit card accounts has been a painful endeavor. I could only do one, one week at a time. It is like closing a part of a life. When I get to the last one, where will he be? But would you know, the one credit card with a large balance is the credit card he forgot to stop the credit insurance after the trial period? The company is refunding my payment. Serendipity? While his health kept him from taking care of me in his lifetime, I like to think he is looking after me now.

Felix touched so many lives. You all know how undeterred he was by infirmity and disability. He kept teaching, mentoring, spoiling family, making people laugh, scolding, and mostly loving. He loved his children and grandchildren and so he kept going until he could no longer. And through it all were all the people who worked with him, helped him, humored him and took care of him to make his last years memorable. There are so many people who loved him and by, extension, loved me. There are those of you who love my children and my family and who were there for us. There are my family at home and work, near and far. There are my friends. There are my children and grandchildren, who, despite their own pain, call to make sure I am all right. And there are the random acts of kindness by kind people. Felix and I have been so blessed. To you all, I am forever grateful.

Please know with certainty that I will be fine. I am not depressed. I am just sad. I weep in the shower, when I'm driving or at odd times and places. But I sleep well and eat well. I walk and exercise. I am competent at work. Felix and I were as different as night and day. While he thrived at being around people, I value my solitude. I choose to be alone and alone does not mean lonely. How can I be with all of you out there. I choose, for now, not to be comforted. I want to hold on to my grief just a little bit longer for it feels he is just slipping away from me much too quickly.

Y.E.Yang

I don't play golf but I watch it on TV and Korean golfer Y.E. Yang's Rocky-esque win of the 91st PGA championship was not lost on me.

Ranked 110th in the world and considered a 70 to 200 to 1 long shot, 37 year old Y.E. Yang did not play golf until age 19, did not enter serious competition until he completed his Korean military service four years later. He won major tournaments in Korea and Asia but dreamed of entering a major American tournament. He came to the US to enter a PGA golf qualifying school and came into the American golf scene when he won his first PGA tournament in the Honda Classic in March 2009.

I admire people who excel in their chosen vocation and watch them perform their job well. Y.E. Yang certainly excelled in his calm unassuming way. His goal was to play his best game and that he did and more. He is now a symbol for Asians and Koreans in particular that anyone can excel in a sport that was dominated by westerners.

Tiger Woods is Tiger Woods and we will always love him for the symbol of dedication, perseverance and excellence that he typifies. We will love him even more as he showed that he, too, can have a bad day at the office. But on Sunday, August 16,2009, at Hazeltine National Golf Club, the day belonged to Y.E. Yang who reminded us that when we work unceasingly to follow our dream, yes, we can.

"At first our dreams seem impossible, then they become improbable. And when we summon our will, our dreams become inevitable." Christopher Reeve

myLot User Profile

More Boyle Watching

As you can tell, I am unashamedly a Susan Boyle fan. I watched her on You Tube, with Meredith Viera on the Today Show and now here is the the Harper's Bazaar make over.

Harper Bazaar's editors talk about her twinkling eyes and the cackle of a laugh that is uniquely Susan Boyle. And to illustrate that everyone is beautiful, here are more photos by Hugh Stewart in Harper's Bazaar.

Bren Bataclan Brings Smiles and Hope

Six years ago, Bren Bataclan noted with dismay that fewer people in his home city of Boston were smiling. He decided to do something about it and in 2003, launched the Smile Boston Project . It has been a rolling stone gathering enormous following since.


Philippine born artist, Bataclan, began to leave free small acrylic cartoon paintings in public places like malls, park benches and anywhere people might congregate. In exchange, he asked the finder to commit random acts of smiling. And smile, finders did.


In his website, Bataclan writes that his goals were to: "Bring art to people who typically do not visit art galleries and museums, give paintings to folks who may not be able to afford original artwork, and see smiles around the globe. "

The 2003 Smile Boston Project was a huge success. People were smiling. This was followed by Smile Chicago, Smile Las Vegas and Smile projects all over the US. Bataclan's smile critters could be found in public places throughout the country and around the globe. Smile paintings have been found everywhere from Alaska to Hawaii, from the ice caps of Antartica to the deserts of Saudi Arabia, from Europe to Asia and round and round it has been going bringing hope and the promise of a smiling world.

When the economy bottomed last year, Bataclan changed the note in his 2009 paintings to say, "Eveything will be allright." Many art finders/keepers have been so moved to hope and have left feedback on how it changed their outlook.

Bataclan completed his art degree at the University of California, Los Angeles in 1993 and Masters in Computer Animation at Ohio State University a few years later. Among other activities, he has worked as animator and designer for such movies as Free Willy and Last Action Hero and taught computer animation and graphic design at the University of Massachussets.

The success of the smile project has brought Bataclan into the limelight. He has been the subject of a documentary by David Tames. The book, The Smile Project, has been published by Gingko Press. Bataclan has been featured in TV news such as the June 22,2009 segment on CBS Evening News.

Bren Bataclan is a reminder of the power of one.

All of you out there, practice those smile muscles and spread the word. A Bataclan smile critter may be lurking in a bench near you.

If you're not lucky enough to find one, purchase a smiley critter painting from the artist's website: http://www.brenbataclan.com/.

Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont: A Movie Review

But for Netflix, I would have missed Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, an endearing movie released in 2005 starring Dame Joan Plowright as Mrs. Palfrey and Rupert Friend as Ludovic Meyer. This movie squeaked silently by, a pity as it is quite a feel good movie.

Recently widowed and hoping for an independent life, Mrs. Palfrey leaves her home and daughter in Scotland to live at the Claremont in London, a hotel romanticized in a travel brochure. She also hopes to reconnect with her grandson who works in London. Meeting the relic of a doorman should have been the first clue that the Claremont was not as publicized. The suite turns out to be a tiny room with a window looking out to a wall and the shared bathroom runs out of hot water. The Claremont is, in fact, a hotel where people stay in the twilight of their lives as they wait for the inevitable. The dining room is the hub of the regular denizens where Mrs. Palfrey comes overdressed for dinner. Mrs. Arbuthnot (Anna Massey), self elected group leader, provides her with the low down on the other diners. As time passes, Mrs. Palfrey's grandson does not return calls, write a letter, let alone come to visit, making the other residents think he is a fiction of the imagination.

On the way home from the library where she had picked up a copy of Lady Chatterly's Lover for Mrs. Arbuthnot, Mrs. Palfrey falls. A young man, Ludovic, comes to her rescue, invites her into his apartment and tends to her scrapes. A friendship develops and when Mrs. Palfrey invites Ludovic to dinner, the hotel residents mistake him for the grandson, a charade they chose to perpetuate. Ludovic earns a living as a street musician while pursuing his dream of being a writer. As the friendship grows, they come to terms with their isolation, having few friendships with people their own age. They help each other find the goodness in their lives, Mrs. Palfrey helping Ludovic find love and move on to his future while Ludovic helps her see the value of her past.

The movie is adapted to the screen by Ruth Sacks, herself in her 80's from the last novel by Elizabeth Taylor (the novelist, not the actress) published in 1971. The book, Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont, itself, is worth reading and depicts the changes as one ages as in this passage:

“The morning was to be filled in quite nicely, but the afternoon and evening made a long stretch. I must not wish my life away, she told herself; but she knew that, as she got older, she looked at her watch more often, and that it was always earlier than she had thought it would be. When she was young, it had always been later.”

Dan Ireland directs a wonderful cast of older actors and young Rupert Friend. Friend, dashing and handsome, is an actor to watch. (He is in the upcoming movie, Cherie, with Michelle Pfeiffer.) Friend makes us believe that friendship between a young man and an elderly woman is a most natural thing that happens everyday. There is wonderful chemistry between Plowright and Friend as pretend grandmother and grandson and between aging actors playing the residents of the Claremont.

Go rent or buy the DVD. There is no violence, no foul language and no nudity. It is just a great escape movie that warms the soul.

Frank J. Hanna,III Teaches Living in Grace

Frank J. Hanna,III, successful businessman, philanthropist, educator and author of What Your Money Means: And How to Use It Well encourages living in gratitude. He challenges us to look at money as a loan from God and thus to be used to improve ourelves and the human condition. He encourages keeping an attitude of abundance, seeing the cup as half full, believing that there is enough of everything for everyone, sharing rather than hoarding and doing it all willingly and joyfully.

Frank J. Hanna,III is a devout Christian and is active in the Catholic faith. This spiritual upbringing is evident in his writings and in his motivational speches. He necourages honesty in business dealings and dealings with others in general. Integrity is a virtue to cultivate.

Frank J. Hanna,III has put his business acumen and spiritual philosophy in philantrophy, education, and now, spiritual motivation.

American Tax Relief Can Help Relieve Your Tax Burden

Has the economic downturn caught you in a tax bind? Many taxpayers and businesses have seen their income go tumbling down and yet find themselves with a tax burden they are hard pressed to pay. After all, if you were caught in a reduction in force whether as employee or employer, there just is not enough money to go around. What you may not know is that for qualifyng taxpayers, the IRS can lessen your burden. The IRS does not advertise it and would just as well no one found out about it.

Tax experts like American Tax Relief can analyze your situation and find the best option. You can negotiate with the IRS yourself but with the complexities involved, it would be worth consulting an expert. American Tax Relief has a dedicated legal staff who can research every legal recourse for your particular situation. Some qualified taxpayers have seen their tax obligation cut in half. After all, the IRS have a vested interest in getting some money in a timely manner rather than none and then hounding you for years when you don't have it to give.

Don't fret and see what tax reduction solutions are available by checking online tax experts like American Tax Relief.

Keep Going, Susan Boyle You Are Loved.

It is final.  Susan Boyle placed second in Britain's Got Talent.  No matter.  What she gave to the world in the past seven weeks is memorable.

Susan Boyle hit the web by storm when she sang "I Dream a Dream" in the TV show Britain's Got Talent.  A stocky unpretentious woman from Blackburn, Scotland, 47 year old Susan was looked upon with disdain when she first walked on stage.  Within seconds, judges and audience alike were in awe, cynic judge, Simon Cowell especially. She was a hit on You Tube and the world was instantly captivated.

Susan Boyle is the triumph of the underdog, the unlikely hero, the rebuttal of first impressions, the fulfillment of dreams.  She brought tears to our eyes because she is all of us, struggling one day at a time, doing our jobs, winning some, losing some.  We rooted for her because she proved that there is another kind of  beauty besides the Hollywood stereotype.  She sang straight to our hearts and proved that yes, we can.

The last few weeks have been difficult for Susan Boyle.  Sudenly in the limelight, there were reports that she was having a nervous break down and predictions that she will not appear for the finals.  She proved her critics wrong once again and gave a better performance than before.

Susan Boyle is not the best voice that graced talent shows but she is certainly the best person that did.  She deserves to be the hit on You Tube that she has been.  Keep going, Susan Boyle.  You are loved. 

Mother's Day: A Brief History

The second Sunday in May is the day when Mother's day is honored in the United States, Canada and many other countries. Different countries have different celebrations and dates for honoring mothers. In the UK and Ireland, the day is known as Mothering Sunday and is celebrated on the fourth Sunday of lent. In 1870, in the US, Julia Ward Howe published "Mother's Day Proclamation" encouraging the designation of a special day to honor mothers. It was not until 1907 when Anna Jarvis began her lobby for a special day to honor mothers and in 1914, she finally got Mother's Day its righteous time on the second Sunday of May. Anna Jarvis was passionate about the day being a day to honor each individual mother. She was picky about the designation and that the apostrophe had to be between the last two letters, "Mother's Day", not Mothers Day or Mothers' Day implying collective mothers. The day was to honor one's special mother. The observation became popular and is now celebrated with much commercialism, much to Anna Jarvis' dismay. What was to have been a very personal day became a marketing venue. Later in her life, Anna Jarvis, unsuccessfully tried to get the observation discontinued.

Mothers day flowers are the most popular gift. In China, where mother's day celebrations are catching on, carnations are the most popular and most sold flower for this celebration followed by lilies. Local florists and online florists like 1800flowers get a major portion of their annual orders on this day. Likewise, moms love receiving flowers. Business research firm, IBIS World estimates that 2.6 billion dollars will be spent in the US on flowers this mother's day, not including the money spent on jewelry, greeting cards and spa treatments.

Citation: Wikipedia

Manny Pacquiao: Best Known Filipino in the World

Like Filipinos worldwide, last night,  our extended family watched Manny Pacquiao knock out Ricky Hatton in the second round in a much publicized boxing match.  Filipinos were undaunted and cocky sure that their man would win and PacMan did not disappoint, proving the media description that  he is, pound for pound, the best boxer in the world today. A much anticipated fight, Filipinos everywhere watched the pre-game 24/7 series chronicling the boxers training and background.

Judging from ABS-CBN reports, Filipinos everywhere crowded in homes, public venues and outdoor TV projections as did our family who crowded in my brother-in-law's home theater. Sports fanatics and sports illiterates alike watched and cheered.  Filipino military and law enforcement agencies also took time off to watch the fight. Violence halted. Philippine news reports even point out that crime took a holiday.  There was no crime committed during that period as law breakers also took time to watch the fight.  

No other person in Philippine history has united the Filipino nation and Filipinos everywhere if only for too short a period of time.  Pacquiao continues to make his country proud. 

Look to K-Designers for Energy Efficient Windows

Most senior citizens living on a fixed income and choose to remain in the home they bought will be faced with remodeling needs at some time or another. Moving to energy efficient windows is one of those remodeling activities that save money in the long run.  K-Designers may just have the answer for seniors who need to get the most for their money. 

K-Designers is a remodeling company with offices in the Midwest and Western part of the United States. Now may be an opportune time to replace those old windows and let Uncle Sam foot part of the bill.  As part of the stimulus package, the government is giving incentives for homeowners to change to energy efficient windows.  K-Designers offers windows made especially for the company and are not only energy efficient but are easy to clean,  fire retardant, do not rust and do not need painting.   Just as important, the windows come with a lifetime guarantee.

YMT Vacations: Planned Tours Can Be Fun for Seniors

Past their prime, senior citizens often have unique needs and considerations when planning vacations. While many seniors are healthier and more active now, many have unique needs they might not even realize. Using tour companies such as Your Man Tours can save you the headache of planning, and can provide solutions to unexpected occurrences. To make the best of your vacation, you, too, must have a sense of your special needs. Remember, your travel agent cannot read your mind.

Single seniors and couples as well, may feel more comfortable joining tours with vacationers of like minds. For instance, Your Man Tours offers guided European tours with emphasis on visits to the Vatican. You may be interested in the Mayan culture, taking a fall trip to New England, or being pampered in a cruise ship. Travel agencies like Your Man Tours which specialize in affordable vacations cater to different groups. They also package trips specifically for older adults.

Simple things to consider when planning a vacation:

• Your health and health care needs. Be sure to check with your doctor about your travel restrictions, make sure you have your supply of medications and ask the travel company for a list of health care facilities in the vicinity of your trip. Be aware of your allergies and food restrictions so you can avoid a flare up.
• Your mobility. Do you need wheelchair access? Do you get winded easily? This is an important consideration when choosing your land trips and side tours as many places require considerable walking. Your travel agent can arrange for mobility assistance in airports, during land transfers and in the hotel.
• Travel and health care insurance. Remember, Medicare does not pay for health care outside the country. Inexpensive travel and health care insurance can pay for illness related trip cancellation, ambulance or even airlift.
• Lastly, have fun. You deserve it.

United American Insurance Company; A Choice for Medicare Part D

With retirement investments half their worth, the economy still on a down swing, it is harder for senior citizens to meet their prescription co-pay especially for expensive third tier medications. This is where your choice of Medicare Part D carrier is important.  United American Insurance Company might just fit the bill

United American Insurance Company  is an approved Medicare Part D provider.  Medicare Part D is the Medicare prescription plan which pays for prescription medications.  All plans are required to pay for your first $2,700.00 of medication expenses after which you are responsible for 100 percent of your prescriptons until you and your plan have paid $4,350.00 for the year. This is also known as the donut hole. The catastrophic coverage then kicks in.  Although it varies from state to state, United American Insurance Company Medicare Part D coverage has no deductible and has low co-pay for generic drugs (starting at $5.00.) Catastrophic prescription coverage is quite liberal.  You pay 5% of the medication cost and UAIC pays 95 %.  If your income falls below certain income limits, you may be eligible for low income subsidy (LIS), where your monthly premium may be lowered by 25, 50, 75, or 100 percent.  

Important things to remember when considering a prescription plan:

• Participation in Medicare part D is voluntary.  However, with the spiralling cost of medication, most seniors are better off participating.
  
• Understand your plan's formulary:  Check your current medications against the plan's formulary to ensure that your medicines are covered adequately.
• Understand formulary tiers: Tier 1- generic drugs, Tier 2- brand name drugs on formulary, Tier 3- more expensive brand name drugs and Specialty tier- very expensive medications such as cancer fighting drugs.  The higher the tier, the higher the copay.
• Check to see if you qualify for low income subsidy.
• Convenience: Does the plan have a mail in service for maintenance medications? his can save you from frequent trips to the drug store.

United American Insurance Company has been in business for over 60 years, operates in 49 states, D.C. and Canada and for 30 consecutive years has been rated strong and very strong by A.M. Best and Standard & Poor Company.  It has been a Medicare participant since 1966.  

Keeping Healthy during the Swine Flu Outbreak

The recent swine flu outbreak in Mexico and the few reported swine flu cases (50 as of this writing) in the United States are causing worry among older citizens who are generally more vulnerable to infections.  The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has published information to clarify the situation and allay the public's anxiety.

Swine flu is a respiratory infection caused by a strain of influenza virus A known as H1N1.  It is generally a disease found in pigs but from time to time it finds its way to humans.  Transmission is from person to person only, by droplet (sneezing, coughing or touching a surface like door knobs, telephones, and desks, with the virus and touching the nose, mouth, or eyes).  You cannot get swine flu by eating pork.  It is contagious one day before symptoms appear and up to seven days after the person feels better.  Previous outbreaks have been relatively mild.  In 1976, 200 cases were reported in Fort Dix, North Carolina and in the three years between 2005 to he end of 2008, 12 cases of human infection wer reported.  The April 2009 cases reported in the US seem to be mild as well. 

The symptoms of swine flu are similar to any influenza infection and consist of tiredness, fever, chills, cough, sore throat, and body aches.  Some people complain of diarrhea and vomiting.  As in seasonal flu, swine flu is self limiting although the course and intensity may be shortened by antiviral medications.  Of significance to older adults is that flu can worsen other medical conditions and persons with decreased immune responses may be quite susceptible to complications such as bacterial infections like pneumonia.  

Keeping safe and healthy:

• Get plenty of rest, stay hydrated and continue with physical exercise.
  
• Wash your hands frequently.
• If you cough or sneeze, cover the mouth and nose with tissue paper and throw it in the trash.  If you do not have tissue paper, cough or sneeze into the crook of your elbow.
• Stay away from sick people.
• If you feel sick, stay home, rest and drink plenty of fluids.
• Call your health care provider if you get dizzy, experience chest pain or oppression, trouble breathing, or severe persistent vomiting or diarrhea.

There is no vaccine for swine flu just yet. Two prescription antiviral agents, oseltamivir and zanamivir, can shorten the course of the illness if taken within two days of the onset of symptoms.

Swine flu cases reported seems to all be mild and self-limiting.  Don't panic.  Call your health care provider if you have concerns or check the CDC website for further information.

Florists Love Mother's Day

The second Sunday in May is one of the seasons in a florist's year. Along with Valentine's Day, Easter and Christmas, Mother's Day, represents high sales volume. Weddings, professional recognition days such as Administrative Assistant Day ring up a smaller volume. Little wonder that florists, nurseries, and grocery stores ensure that they don't run out of Mother's Day flowers.

Since flowers now come from all over the world, florists can play with a variety of flower arrangements. No longer confined to local floral variety and seasonal blooms, florists are now only limited by their creativity in crafting floral arrangements. Well, perhaps the customer's budget as well. It can be an Ikebana arrangement with its simple style and line, an English garden style with radial colorful blooms or a contemporary high style arrangement. Any time of the year, florists can have orchids, birds of paradise, tulips and various flowers for every occasion. Recipients are equally pleased. A mom in Asia can have a spray of tulips while another mom in Greenland might receive a pot of phaelonopsis orchids.

Customers can have Mother's Day flowers hand delivered by their local florist or through floral wire and online services such as 1-800-Flowers.

Adapting the Home for Mobility Access

Sometime in our fifties, we bought a home with an eye on the lifestyle changes in our senior years. We bought a reverse story and a half patio home with an open floor plan. Not until we had to cope with disability did we realize the barriers to mobility that most homes present.

These are what we found out:

• The doors were not wide enough for wheelchair mobility access. This is especially difficult in the toilet where the door was even smaller. We had to remove the doors for easier access.
• The stair steps were not wide enough to accommodate a walker. Although there were only two to three steps from the garage or the front porch to the house, the steps were too narrow to plant a walker safely.
• Shower doors were too narrow for either wheelchair or walker. Taking a shower proved to be a long ritual. We are still struggling with options retrofitting the shower and bathroom, all of them expensive.
• Kitchen counters can be formidable for someone who is wheelchair bound. Needless to say, reaching up to a built in microwave or over the counter shelves are next to impossible.
• Getting in and out of the bed can be very difficult for someone with bum legs. There is nothing to grip to pull up.

These are seemingly mundane things and for sure there are remedies as we quickly and by necessity found. But for those nearing their senior years and looking to move to a new home, these should be realistic considerations. At the very least, look for wide doors, wide garage steps and disability friendly bathrooms. These can be added without detracting from the decor. You just never know when you will need them.

Choosing a Retirement Community

Many senior adults like me think about retirement long before we apply for our social security retirement income. We go on vacation with an eye on retirement communities and resorts wondering what it might be like to actually live there for good. Downsizing to a condominium, patio home or a 55 and over apartment can be a logical move for most seniors.

Before making that big commitment some factors are worth looking into:

• Geographic location: Is the climate suitable, especially for your health? Persons with asthma, arthritis, or other medical conditions may want to make sure the climate is conducive to their health. Will you like it in the off season when it is too cold or too hot, too dry or too wet? Is it close to loved ones? Many of us may choose to be close to grandchildren and close family members or be within driving distance.
  
• Real estate professionals: Once you decide on a geographic location for a retirement community, it is valuable to hire a good real estate agent and have access to legal counsel. Good real estate professionals have knowledge of the area, comparable costs of homes, and other information not readily available to the buyer. A lawyer can read through the contract and give important legal advice. A house inspector is invaluable in looking below the surface and preventing costly surprises after the purchase.
  
• Evaluating a retirement community: Is it close to grocery stores, health care providers, shopping centers, and recreational activities? What is the age mix and ambiance of the community? Is it compatible with your lifestyle? How secure is the home, condominium, or apartment building and the community in general? Talking to potential neighbors can be very informative.
  
• Before making the purchase: It is important to understand some planned retirement community requirements. Condominiums and planned communities are often governed by homeowner (HOA) or property owner association (POA) rules and regulations. These are legal entities, often non-profit and organized for the purpose of maintaining the retirement community standards. These are often governed by conditions, covenants and restrictions (CCR) These associations may collect dues for maintenance of community infrastructure. Remember that association dues will continue long after the mortgage is paid for. Check the association debts, reserve fund, how often dues are raised and special assessments levied. What do amenities cover? Check covenants and restrictions and make sure you can live with them. ( Examples include restrictions on fences, outside paint colors, pet areas, placement of satellite dish, yard decorations, etc.)

Chosen well, a retirement community can be very practical, fun and enhancing to one's later life.

Venus, a Movie of Love, Friendship, and Being Old

Venus, a movie released in December 2006, is a wonderful poignant vehicle for Peter O'Toole, who once again engages us with an unforgettable performance. Portraying Maurice, an aging, has been actor relegated to bit parts ( such as corpses), O'Toole generates a charming character.Once a ladies man and not too responsible husband, he now spends his days in coffee shops with similarly aging has been actor friend, Ian ( Leslie Phillips.) Into their lives come Venus (Jodie Whitaker), Ian's niece from the country, sent to the city to look after Ian while looking for a modeling job. She quickly disrupts Ian's and Maurice's lives with her narcissistic, self-absorbed , flirtatious lifestyle. She becomes a catalyst for Maurice' coming alive once again as he relentlessly pursues his growing infatuation. Sadly, she tantalizes him with simple pleasures such as allowing him to touch her bare shoulders for which he is immensely grateful. He, in turn, showers her with presents , pays for her tattoo, and takes her to movies sets and museums.

We are reminded how love is alive at any age. Love and sex remain a vital part of many older adult couples. The August 2007 volume of the New England Journal of Medicine contains the University of Chicago's National Life, Health, and Aging Project (NSHAP) which shows that there is only slight decline in sexual activity from age 50 to 70 and that older adults can and do participate in sexual activity well into their 80's. Dr. Stacy Tesser Lindauer reports that health rather than age is a bigger factor in sexual function.

The need for touch is a universal need at any age. Little wonder that there is that bond between grandchildren and grandparents, children having no qualms about hugging nana or poppa or touching their faces. Children do not see age as a barrier.

The movie moves us to think through very difficult issues of aging and the universal fear of facing the end of our lives alone. It looks at friendships, among men and peers, between Maurice and his ex-wife ( played by Vanessa Redgrave.) The actors' masterful performance, subtly draws us to look into our own future and the inevitability of growing old. O'Toole is perfect in the role, ( maybe as good as inLawrence of Arabia.) And Whitaker holds her own as the characters take us to their transformation. Even as Venus selfishly takes advantage of Maurice' infatuation, we see Maurice, an old man come alive at the end of his days and Venus evolve into a more caring woman.

This is a thought provoking movie. Watch the movie for Peter O'Toole. Watch the movie for yourself.